I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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