I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
birth control should be required to get into college
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
