butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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