It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
