physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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