I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
