I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
