i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
vagina is talking i cant
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
