that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
