Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
