Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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