Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
