Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
