she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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