her vagine was all disorganized.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need water and some morals
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
