Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
