just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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