I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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