dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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