I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
