We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
