I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
