I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
