If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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