a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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