I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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