just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
