My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
