YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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