How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
