FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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