Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
