why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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