Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
