I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
