the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
