I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
