OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize