How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
