dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We're too hungover to prance.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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