i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
