come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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