so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How's work?
Spinning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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