well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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