I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
