my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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