Tell her she can't have a vagina
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
