listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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