I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
