these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
