I love black thongs
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize