Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
