singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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