i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
