Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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