I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
