Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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