his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize