Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
