Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
