4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize