Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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