Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize